the fat girl goes to college

wow...i should not be blogging right now. i have a paper and homework due, but i'm not doing it. i'm blogging. geez.

well, nothing has really changed since my last post except for the fact that i'm actually going to party this weekend. this will be my first college party, a thought i find particularly sad since i attend a party school. i'm also a bit anxious about the fact that i'm straight edge, and i wonder how people will react. i'm kind of thinking that it won't be a big deal to turn down a drink, but anything's possible when people's inhibitions are lowered.

i'm excited, though.

Labels: college, party

i feel renewed. there's something about having all of your homework done, having eaten a decent dinner, and not dreading going to a dead-end job you hate. i love it.

for the past three weeks, i have been working at one of the dining commons on my campus. while my coworkers and superiors were decent, the work damn near killed me. most of the time, i was a busboy; cleaning tables and picking up food scraps left on the floor. doesn't sound too bad on paper, but in practice, for up to four hours at a time and only being paid minimum wage, its a terrible way to make a living. if nothing else, it did give me much more respect for people in service and custodial jobs. it is hard, hard work.

in other news, i am finally starting to make some peace with my roommate situation. while its sometimes not the best, it could be a hell of a lot worse. besides, i'd rather have someone who wants to talk to me all the time than not at all.

Labels: college, roommate, work

sorry sorry sorry everyone for my unexpected hiatus. its just that adjusting to classes, college life and all that jazz has been kind of a lot to handle.

well, don't know if i have officially announced this yet, but i have finally moved into my dorm! in fact, next week will mark the second week of my college residence. so far, i'm in love.

well...not in that way. yet.

although, there is this one guy...i really like him, and i think i have a chance, but i'm not sure how he feels yet. we had the talk about what kind of girl/guy we like, favorite foods, where we're from, majors...all that good stuff. i don't know; i think he may be flirting a little, but i could also be totally over-reading his signals. time will tell.

and, with this new guy thing that i haven't experienced in, oh, i don't know, TWO YEARS (!) has left me conflicted. in my mind, i thought that i would have wanted to see him (my him) by now, but...strangely, no. not yet. some days are bad; i miss him more than anything, and i can't seem to think of anything else. some days are okay; i don't think of him at all, or i'm at least not all torn up about it. i don't know. hopefully i can get him up here this november...
i haven't totally lost the faith though: he still calls/texts weekly. soooo...good, right?

well, i have to go. still have reading to do, doncha know.

and speaking of doncha know, did y'all see the debate tonight?

Labels: college, debate, guys, him, relationship

hey y'all. sorry about the delay in posting, but i've been really busy with moving into my dorm. i moved on friday, and i'm really loving the campus.

i have nothing to report right now since dorm drama hasn't really started yet. the only thing i can think to tell you is that...i'm not over him. even though i thought i was, i'm not. it'll take one hell of a guy to make me forget him.

oh, and i listened to more jonny mcgovern.

Labels: college, jonny mcgovern, relationship

so, today was basically a kick-back day where i did absolutely nothing. i talked to my future roommate yesterday, the one who broke up with her boyfriend since he bored her. they're back together now, if its of any importance to you guys. i guess he wasn't that boring, but i digress.

like i said before, i did nothing of any note beside order delivery chinese, watch a little noggin (its educational, dammit) and listen to more jonny mcgovern antics. i'm moving to my dorm next friday, but i've still been putting off packing/cleaning up. i don't know why that is; maybe i'm still a little anxious subconciously. whateve.

other than the aforementioned articles, i have nothing to report. oh, i would like to give a quick shoutout to all my LINKREFERRAL BUDDIES!!! you guys are great...thanks for the awesome reviews and pointers. i forgot who said what, but one person said to scale down the font size. i will totally do that...i noticed just how big it is on the actual blog itself. i was just to lazy to change the default font.

oh, and the reason i don't post every day is that my life is not that exciting or eventful, right now anyways. i promise you that the stories will get better in the next two weeks.

if you feel like crying, watch the video below. one of my favorite songs from the moment i heard it.

Labels: college, ernie, jonny mcgovern, linkreferral, random, relationship, sesame street

a few weeks ago, one of my good friends met a guy whom she fell for, and he became her first boyfriend. a couple days ago, she changed her facebook status from "in a relationship" to "single". so, like any good girlfriend, i fished my brass knuckles out of my underwear drawer and prepared to annihilate the guy who had broken her heart. however, i had jumped the gun.

upon hearing the news, i called her at once to find out exactly what had happened. she picked up, and seemed quite chipper; not at all heartbroken. here is a rough transcript of our conversation:

Fat Girl: omg, what happened? are you alright?
my friend: oh yeah; i'm fine.
FG: so...what happened between you and [bleep]?
mf: well, i dumped him.
FG: hmmm. do i need to come up there and break my size 10 off in his ass?
mf: (laughs) oh no. don't worry; he didn't do anything. in fact, that's sort of the problem.
FG: i...don't understand.
mf: well, he never wanted to party or hang out or anything. he just wanted to stay in his dorm and talk. he was boring.
FG: oh well (laughs), i guess. so what did you tell him?
mf: mmm, nothing really. just that he was boring and i wanted to break up.
FG: oh...oh my.

well, you get the idea. basically, she dropped him like a hot potato because he bored her to death after approximately three weeks. now, to me, the first couple of weeks into a relationship aren't as exciting as, let's say, the first two. i guess that's because the honeymoon phase is starting to wear off. however, that's when the most intimate time starts. you guys start knowing little details about each other that no one else does. but i guess that could be perceived as the most boring time too. it all depends on perspective.

all i know is that there two guys that i met at my college orientation that i can't wait to get to know better. but that's for another post.

anyways, i'd like you guys to know about my new, totally awesome feedback email for the site. so, if you have any questions, comments, constructive criticism (and i stress constructive), post suggestions, or anything else cool you want to let me know about or something you want posted on the site, please send it to thefatgirl@rocketmail.com. don't worry: i'll post the email in the header of the site so you'll never lose it.

also, there's a poll in my sidebar regarding adsense. please vote in it! i really need my readers' opinions.

editor's note: i removed the poll on 9/12/08. however, the results indicated that most of you would not be offended by adsense on the page. thanks for your votes!

Labels: adsense, college, email, poll, relationship, thefatgirl{at}rocketmail.com

according to my facebook countdown clock, i have less than 25 days until my college move-in. i love vacation as much as the next person, but the lack of having much to do in my small town, having my boyfriend and most of my friends leave already, i am pretty lonely. and bored...but, i have tried to be productive in some of my recreational pursuits.

for example, i love cooking and food in general. so, i have tried to incorporate a new recipe into each week. i also have more time to devote to my creative writing pursuits: mainly poetry, essays and blog posts. but...it's still boring. my friends who have already started tell me to not take vacation for granted, that i'll want it when the work starts piling on. i know, but i'm bored now. i don't know.

in college news, folks have been abuzz concerning lowering the drinking age. the center of the controversy is an organization called the amethyst initiative, an association of college chancellors and presidents pressing for a reassessment of legal drinking age to lower it to 18 instead of 21. their website cites:

[The statement requesting a reassesment of legal drinking age] does, state clearly the signatories' belief that 21 is not working as well as the public may think, that its unintended consequences are posing increasing risks to young people, and that it is time for a serious debate among our elected representatives about whether current public policies are in line with current realities.

hmm. well, the policy is here nor there with me, as i abide by the straight edge lifestyle. however, i can see the logic in the case that making alcohol less "forbidden" could cut down on binge drinking and other dangerous activities concerning irresponsible alcohol use among teens. i can also see how it could go in the completely opposite direction and lead more kids to drinking, possibly in excess. i am truly on the fence on this one.

so to my awesome readers: how do you feel about this issue? do you think that your upbringing affected your behaviors and beliefs about alcohol and other controlled substances?

Labels: alcohol, amethyst initiative, college, cooking, drinking, writing

my better half left for school today. part of me is slightly jealous that i still have to wait a month to leave; part of me mourns him leaving; part of me is happy that he'll get a chance to grow. however, the whole of me has reconciled with the fact that i won't be able to see him as often as i'm used to. i heard one of my favorite songs that complements my feelings. if you know it, feel free to sing along. if you don't, the words are right below.

billy joel - this is the time

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel
They're tearing it down now
But it's just as well
I haven't shown you everything a man can do
So stay with me baby
I got plans for you

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life
Some kind of miracle that I survived
Some day we will both look back
And have to laugh
We lived through a lifetime
And the aftermath

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
I know we've gotta move somehow
But I don't want to lose you now

Sometimes it's so easy
To let a day
Slip on by
Without even seeing each other at all
But this is the time you'll turn back to and so will I
And those will be days you can never recall

And so we embrace again
Behind the dunes
This beach is so cold
On winter afternoons
Ah, but holding you close is like holding the summer sun
I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
But now I need the rest of you...

for g.: farewell love, and remember that someone out there will always love you.

Labels: college, high school, him, relationship

in all of the you're-going-to-college-now-what? advice books that i've been reading, a main point is that it's best to be romantically unattached when entering your postsecondary education. this means that if you do/did have a significant other in high school, its best to break it off.

i know that this is what's best, but its been so hard to actually come to the conclusion that i need to do this. i've been with the same guy for about two years now (which is an extremely long time in high school) and its safe to say that i've fell firmly in love with him. sure, we have our momentary moments of anger with one another, disagreements on politics or current affairs or just about anything else one could think of, but we always seem to patch things up. no, i don't know if he is "the one" or just someone i really clicked with, but a lot of...firsts have been with him. i don't think i need to clarify that one...

i want to move one and find other people, and i want him to do the same. in the long run, we both want completely different lifestyles, and i'd doubt it would work very well. but...he has tried bringing up the prospects of marriage. no, i'm not kidding; he really has. as fairytale-ish and wonderful as it would sound on paper, i don't know if we'd be a good married couple. who knows though? who really knows how it will all turn out but the Maker Himself? i sure don't. what i do know is that i would be a very happy camper if the universe decided to bring him back to me, but for now, i must let him go.

i am reminded of a very wise quote. sorry, i don't know who said it though.

if you love something, let it go. if you are meant to have it, it will come back to you.

deep, huh?

Labels: college, growth, high school, love, relationship, sweetheart

so, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. mainly, about my future but also a sundry of other things as indicated by my past few posts. i don't know if i've posted this yet, but i recently attended my college orientation and opted to take on 17 units of classes. now, the minimum at my school (and most other schools i think) for being a full-time student is only 12. however, me being my overacheive-y self, i have decided to take on more. i also have a job lined up at one of the campus' dining commons. i know this will be no cakewalk, but i have wondering if i am setting myself to do too much. some of my closest friends are taking less units and they have begun advising me of what may be the error of my ways. so, i'm nervous. i did take advanced placement and honors classes since my freshman year in high school, so i know that mediocre work won't cut it. but, have i taken on too much?

then, in the back of my mind, i just think that i will drop a class that's not something i had expected to be taking. i don't know. i guess this is just one of those things that i'll have to experience for myself. huh.

in college news today, a judge has ruled that uc berkeley has the right to build their athletic stadium anywhere they want, even if it means destroying some of its greenery. kinda sad, but i guess athletics is of more importance to some.

Labels: berkeley, classes, college, job, uc

i don't know how many people out there are familiar with the twilight saga by stephenie meyer, but i have mentioned it previously. i'll spare you the deets of the story, but here's the link to the wikipedia article of an overview if you're interested. i'm about to rant about the series, so if you aren't interested, you may want to just skip the purple words.

so, i just finished eclipse last night. yes, i know: where have i been? i actually read twilight and new moon all in the span of a month (they are addictive), and i became a twilight freak like many of my other school associates. in the first book, i was totally fine with all the characters: edward was slightly detached but revealed himself to be more than anyone bargained for, jacob seemed like a cool secondary character, and i could totally relate to bella. i did feel she was sort of whiny, but i was willing to accept all that in light of the circumstances. however, in the second book, she just became so goddammed whiny. i guess that's harsh, but i could have done with out the pages upon pages of detailed explanations of the sheer pain she felt from the absence of edward. i mean, i know that sucked, but i didn't need to hear about that every ten pages. in the third book, wooo...don't EVEN get me started. that second kiss with jacob was just fucking disgusting. i mean, here's some points i formulated toward the end of the story:

1. if you are in love with jacob, tell him and break up with edward so we can get on with the freaking story.

2. if you aren't in love with jacob, get him the hell off of you, and stop talking about how you love him, and how you'll be jealous if he gets imprinted with some other chick and blah blah blah...

3. edward is the better choice. he's smarter, better-looking, more mature and more self-sacrificing than jacob could and would ever be.

4. jacob is a jerk. he's deceptive, and if he really loved bella, he would let her be happy and choose her own path rather than use ultimatums to force her to "love" him. (i.e. if you don't kiss me, i'll go fight and die. you love me as a friend and don't want me to get hurt, so i'll use that weakness against you.)

if you can't already tell, i'm most definetly team edward. i probably missed some points, but i'm sure this won't be the last time i'll post about it.

pant pant pant...alrighty then.

another (real-world) issue that's caught my eye is a news story that's been kind of under the radar. the uc (university of california) regents are thinking about relaxing standards for uc admissions. as a uc student (i'll be going to uc santa barbara this fall), i'm not really sure if this is necessary. because my grades were pretty good (3.8 gpa), i was guaranteed into at least one campus of the uc system. i guess it would be great for people to have access to education, but having some exclusivity to the school means that only the most qualified students take advantage of the school's resources and the school's reputation stays afloat. as un-PC as that may sound, its true. so, i'm slightly undecided about this. how do you feel about this? should uc admission policies be relaxed?

also, how do you feel about the whole eclipse situation? are you team edward or team jacob?

Labels: bella, college, edward, jacob, twilight, uc

for the very first time, i'm having anxiety about college.

Labels: anxiety, chuck e cheese, college, friends, lastcallcleveland, youtube

hmm. i wish life would go faster than it is. as of now, i am waiting at home for my life to begin essentially. not diet life, the cloistered, sheltered kind that your parents feed you for the sake of your "feelings" or "sanity" or whatever. i want it, but do i want it? there's so many questions i have about the upcoming months that i'm going insane.

Labels: college, food, friends, growth, questions, summer