the fat girl goes to college

Saturday, June 28, 2008

rumble

my parents have had marital problems since i can remember, and i have had problems with my mother since i found the courage to speak out against her random outbreaks of rage. so, it didn't really bother me that much when she tried to antagonize me this afternoon. to be honest, i can't point out exactly what i said that offended her so, but offend her i did; and boy, did i hear about it.

for the last eight years, my mother has been the main breadwinner of our family which has created many dysfunctional financial dynamics between us all. i'm pretty sure that's why i was so bent on finding my own job or source of income. it scared me to think that this unstable woman had a complete economic hold on my life, and i had nothing to do about it. fortunately, i now have access to my college fund and other monies in my savings account.

sadly, i'm pretty certain that this is what keeps my father from divorcing her. he has no independent source of income, save for some money he had prior to the surgery that left him unemployed. he says that he also stays for me, to make sure that i will have a father; but to be quite honest, part of me wishes there was some way for him to leave. thank god i have college coming up.

i will not go into a diatribe on the fear, distrust and disdain i feel for my mother, only to say that there are valid reasons that i will not publicly list. i know that there are some people who wish they could say they had a mother at all. i know there are some people who will read this and feel that i am a spoiled brat, or some other more vicious expletive. i invite these people to step into my shoes. the grass is always greener, but sometimes the gardener is meaner...if that makes any sense.

no, i don't want an apology from her. i just want out.

before i go, has don imus lost his fucking mind? oy vey dude. oy vey.

btw, here's his rebuttal. i guess he's trying to gain some sort of credibility from his black co-host. even if we were to weigh the scales in his favor and say he was making some sort of misguided political commentary, i just believe it would be quite wise to keep as far away from any type of racial comments for...i don't know...forever?

Labels: african-american, anger, dallas, don imus, mother, race, relationship

// posted by the fat girl @ 7:08 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008

tyra tries and food network lies

i usually don't watch tyra, but today i was intrigued. today's show was her first "black women's summit", or discussion of issues that pertained especially to the black female community. one of the topics i found most intriguing was the one on beauty; especially the one about body image. now, of course tyra and a few plus-sized audience members praised loving yourself and your body regardless of what men think of you (excepting one unusually ignorant and tactless male panel member who felt that men would sleep with anyone, causing fat girls to think they were attractive when they actually weren't). however, i was quite stymied to see when a commercial for one of next week's shows was about how to lose those extra few pounds to look great in this season's swimsuits. maybe it's just me, but aren't those contradictory values? call me crazy...

on a lighter note, i've been wanting to blog about something i stumbled across on accident. the other day, i was wasting my time on youtube (instead of facebook...oy vey) when i saw this interesting vid...i'll let it speak for itself.